If you enjoy each other sexually, you do so because you’re comfortable doing it and because you want to
Boyfriend Benefit 3: Sex on Tap:
When he gets to have you, it’s some of the best sex he’s ever had. But it’s inconsistent, because you’re not there at his beck and call. You don’t end up there every time he wants you at his convenience. You have other things to do, other friends to see, and perhaps even other dates to go on. The great sex happens on your terms when it suits you, and he misses it when you’re not around.
You like him and you like the sex. You’ve already slept together, so what does it matter? You spend most nights there. Saturday nights become less about the girls and more about leaving early to have more great sex. You figure you can take your work stuff most nights to his place, because it just feels so damn good. You’re there so often you can no longer think about the possibility of sleeping with anyone else, meanwhile, for some reason, he just won’t commit..
Security/Loyalty
What’s good for him is good for you. Even if part of you wants to, you don’t commit exclusivity to him (mentally or verbally) if he hasn’t done the same for you. You don’t tell him you’re not seeing other guys unless he says he’s not seeing other women. It’s not necessarily that you are, but if you have to wonder, so does he. That’s what self-respect is.
You really like him and want to show him how much, so you drop a line like “I’m just the sort of girl that only dates one guy at a time, you know?” within the first 2 dates. He gets the best benefit of a girlfriend (security) with no membership package. Phew, now HE can relax. He knows you’re not going anywhere, so he can safely explore his options.
Excitement:
Bit by bit, you bring him into your world. You invite him out to a night with friends, but not the next, because that’s your good friend’s birthday, and it’s all about her. You keep the plans you had prior to meeting him, but as time moves on, you invite him to more events as your date and to join you in various outings. Over time, he gets to experience more of the world and excitement he can expect if he’s lucky enough to earn the label of “boyfriend”.
Too much:
You like him, so you bring him along to every night out. If he’s not there from the start, you’re constantly texting him, rather than talking to the people around you, so you can find him later in the evening. You figure you can hang with him, instead of attend that party or networking event you supposed to go to. You’re not that close with that girl anyway, right? Soon, your life has gone from 4-5 fun things a week to 4-5 nights a week with him, cancelling the things you used to love or involving him in all of them.
What this all comes down to is simple – priorities. When you spend time with a man, for those hours with him, he becomes a top priority. That’s the taste he gets of the real boyfriend experience. It’s the feeling you get when you use your free pass and get unlimited access to the whole gym for a day. It’s great, but it doesn’t last forever. It’s a light that shines until time runs out and other priorities return. When that light is taken away, as you go off and live the life you’ve built, you leave him missing you and thinking about that elusive full membership.
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